Words, Weights, Whatever

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Humor: You know....

You know you're getting up there if you remember when:

* Your computer's ready-mode was a black screen with a single

* Apple was bigger than Windows.

* Or should I say PCs, since for a while, there was no such
thing as

* There was just "DOS."

* And they were called microcomputers instead of PCs.

* Contrary to free-market theory, your phone choices and bills
were much
easier because AT&T was a good old-fashioned monopoly.

* There was this amazing new video game called "Pong."

* And you thought it had the most advanced graphics imaginable.

* AOL was just another start-up online service that could easily
have lost
out to rivals called Compuserve and Prodigy.

* A 20-something guy named Dell came up with the nutty idea of
computers by mail.

* Jane Fonda went from sex symbol, to feminist activist, to
dutiful wife of
a powerful man, to obscurity.

* And that powerful man was known not as Ted Turner founder of
CNN - but
"Blackbeard Among the Bluebloods" for winning the America's Cup
scandalizing Newport society with raucous behavior.

* And there was no question U.S. sailors would of course win the
Cup -

* It was called VD instead of an STD.

* The first true laptop computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80.

* And if you were hip, you referred to it affectionately as a

* Burning a CD was the act of a pyromaniac.

* Sean Connery was Pierce Brosnan.

* The new walkaround phone that gave you astonishing mobility
was a cordless
one you could take around the house.

* And it got better reception than the one you can now take all
over the

* Only wives got alimony.

* Steve Jobs ran Apple. I mean, the first time.

* There was a guy on 60 Minutes named Mike Wallace who was so
old you
figured he'd retire at the latest by 1990.

* The Mideast was simpler because Iran was run by a dictator
called The
Shah, who wanted power rather than Jihad.

* Mail was something you wrote on a piece of paper and put into
a stamped

* And you didn't get 110 unsolicited pieces of it every morning
promising to
enhance your anatomical assets.

* No normal person had speakers on their computer.

* The diners at the next restaurant table were smoking
cigarettes and you
barely noticed.

* The only thing you knew about Robin Williams was he played a
weird alien
named "Mork" on television.

* A 1-gig hard drive seemed as big as a warehouse. (Today, most
are 40-times

* An 8-track tape the size of a paperback book was an advanced
concept in
compact music recording.

* Everyone knew what an LP was. (NOTE: I actually forgot this! -- Joel)

And now the final test of whether you're getting up there:

* Even though there are plenty of LPs in antiques stores, you
still have 400
in your attic, because deep down, you still think the format
will come back.


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