It's the little things...

Whatever
Due to blogs I intermittently follow and a few of my friends relationships, I've been more...aware...of my own relationship recently.

My spouse has had it bad at work the past couple of weeks. A rough on-call schedule, the drive, and lack of sleep have been taking their toll. But the worse have been the patients: rude, rude, RUDE. The number of able-bodied folks trying to get on disability is staggering: one patient, for example, keeps coming in for chronic muscle pain (caused by a bad mother-daughter relationship over 30 years ago) but refuses to take any meds except medically-approved marijuana and morphine. When R. gently tries to explain she doesn't qualify and there are other meds available, the patient screams, insulting my spouse's training ("all doctors are f^%#!@#$"), the clinic ("the ***** medical group are f^%#!@#$), and even other patients as she storms out ("you're all f^%#!@#$ and your stupid mother-f^%#!@#$&^%* for seeing these f^%#!@#$$#@! pieces of s@!# doctors!)

Not that it makes much of a difference, but the patient is in her mid-to-late forties.

Getting back to the point.

R. was venting about the patients and lack of sleep. Once I would have tried to come up with solutions. This time I listened and provided comforting words (e.g., I'm sorry to hear that. People are stupid. Take a deep breath. Regular people are selfish, narrow-minded, and utterly insane. Yes, let's take a vacation and find a place where people aren't total sh%#...)

Will these words solve the prob? No. We both know that and we know the courses of action to take if we really believe it's bad. I'm more than willing for R. to quit and for us to take a step down economically. But we both decided to stick this issue out; it's the first viable job in years.

And the problems don't last. Neither do the good times. But a relationship can last.

That's the point of this entry. Most couples can handle the "big" issues and recover from them: divorce, death, etc. But it's the daily trials and tribulations that ultimately test a couple both separately and together. In my opinion (IMO), that's why the first year (and first couple of years) are the true tests regardless if the issues faced during that time are big or small.

Is there a true way to absolutely know if a relationship will make it? Many expert claim there is. I don't know. All I know is that a listening ear and a genuine kiss (with a quick grope) on a daily basis do more than money, furs, or jewelry on so-called special occasions.

Well, except my birthday. :)