***Letting go***
Yesterday was one of those lessons about not letting your thoughts become your reality.
Work was going fine until the last hour. Then my boss (the client) handed me something that made me question the assignment's duration. The fear continued to gnaw at me as I drove home. Not even Discovery or the Science Channel could banish the illusion. I called R. and the brief conversation made me realize what was happening: I was being sensitive.
I was hungry. I was very sleepy. And the damned weather was getting cloudy. (Yes, I do suffer that seasonal thingie.) All these combined to make my emotional state one sad puppy.
Suffering arises from attachment to desires
That is the Second Noble Truth in Buddhism. I remembered it after taking the necessary deep breath to let go of my desire for stability in life. Of course it didn't work (I don't have enough jowls to be Buddha or the long dress of Kwannon) but I detached myself enough to gather strength to go to the gym.
The illusion (and my attachment to it) continued to bother me later that evening. Even watching Hunter X Hunter with The Spouse made me realized how much I had allowed it into my psyche.
But as I write this post, I begin to see what the anxiety as it is (fleeting) and--even more importantly--I've taken another step along the Way.
3 Comments:
letting go is one of the hardest things to do. and it gets harder as you get older and more ornery!
By
Joe, at 8:40 PM
I agree with Joe. Letting go is hard to do. As you know, work has sucked for me lately. I have to keep reminding myself that my job isn't me. Hard to do, though.
By
SBB, at 9:27 PM
Letting go is hard, but the reward is worth it. Last August I let go of a wonderful job to pursue a dream I've had for a long time. It was scary, a lot of family members thought I was nuts, but I'd do it again in a minute.
By
CrystalDiggory, at 5:51 PM
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