Words, Weights, Whatever

Monday, September 30, 2002

Despite being together for nearly nine wonderful years now, friction does happen. On Sunday, my spouse remind me how it hurt when I didn't come home from the hobby store within an hour. I pointed out that I had not specified a time limit I would be gone and, also, I had my cell phone and could have easily been reached. Hurt feelings were expressed, apologizes were grudging given (we're both stubborn when we know we're right but so is the other person), and the incident forgotten.

We've been through such situations. I always remember the "bad times" more often than the "good times", a legacy of my upbringing. But the habit persist. Fortunately, the mechanisms that make our relationship work kicked in immediately. But I always reflect after each incident and remind myself, "Never again. Don't always rely on such mechanism. Be pro-active and remind each other what to do to prevent such bad feelings in the first place."

I'd say a fraction of our "bad habits" have been eliminated this way (e.g., saying "irregardless", most of my mood swings,) but some still persist like the one above. While communication between the two of us has never been a major problem, I don't take this relationship for granted. I've seen many who were together longer than us break up. While it was usually sex and money issues, I know those were, as the cliche' goes, the "straw that broke the camel's back." Little things had been cracking those relationships long before the major one.

Keep vigilant. It's wonderful to be a great relationship, but they are work as well as pleasure.


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