Words, Weights, Whatever

Monday, June 13, 2005


An old acquaintance of mine (I hesitate to call him friend at this time) called me late last week. I was surprised: I didn’t recognize his voice and, when I did, even more so shocked. We hadn’t spoken or even sent e-mails to each other for a couple of years.

And, after chatting for a bit, I realized why.

I won’t go into much detail about our conversation. A lot of it, quite honesty, was personal. But the gist was that he was falling in love. Again. And I couldn’t believe him.

I’ve seem him in this state before just like many others: fall in love, get bored but compromise yourself because you’re afraid to be alone, then find a new person to declare your love. Until the cycle repeats again. And again. And again.

What’s more scary is the excuses: the reasons he stays in these destructive relationship. They’re so reasonable. My favorite, for example, is when he claims that, since he’s been misunderstood in the past, he’s more understanding of the psychological abuse from his lovers. Uh-huh. Going nearly bankrupt—again!—to satisfy a so-called “loved one’s” material appetites across the world sounds a bit more than understanding.

I know this train of thought too well: I stayed with my first lover two years too long. But I was young and naïve and it was my first relationship. I hope I know better.

But my acquaintance can’t claim such reasoning. I’ve lost count how many times he’s been in such cycles. And before you suggest therapy, he has been seeing a psychologist for some time. If this is the result, I’d be scared for this guy.

He’s in a loop and he’s too scared to get out.


  • We all live in rooms, some of which are comfortable, some of which are not. To leave that room, we have to walk down a dark hallway to something unknown. Many times we lack the courage to leave the known to go to the unknown, to go down that dark hall to somewhere new. I know I've been that way in my life before. Perhaps your friend is that way, too.

    By Blogger TECH, at 7:25 AM  

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