The Wall of Love

R. will nearly discuss anything. Note the "anything",
though. One topic which is gently avoided is our prior
sex lives.

It's not that we're embarrassed by them. It's just,
for various reasons, R. does not want to talk about
that aspect of our histories.

Trust me, I've tried. But trying to go beyond "What
did you do before you met me?" is met with, "I dated."
That's it. No names, details, or emotion beyond
playful dismissal.

And R.'s lack of interest about our sexual histories
extends to any interest in MY prior proclivities. It's
as though our "real" lives--as Joel & R.--started when
we first met those near-fourteen years ago. Everything
else before that, from my prior relationships,
children, bathhouses, dates, answering ads, Thailand,
etc., belonged to other people, folks whom R.,
bluntly, wouldn't care less.

Sometimes I think R.'s blind about not querying about
my past. I later realize, though, it's not so much as
"blindness" as faith and love that we're right for
each other.

Excuse me. I think I'm going to cry.