***The car is MINE***

It finally dawned on me what is the "core" of the core of my obsession with cars. It's not just the fact that I realize it's okay to have wants and act upon them (if one has the means and the want is not illegal or, worse, immoral), but my obsession is even deeper in the realm that marketing folks rub their hands gleefully

I want to have chosen the car personally
All vehicles I have driven until 1996 had been hand-me-downs. Though I liked most of them (the exception being a woefully under-powered Escort), I never pro-actively had a chance to research, consider, test-drive, pick, and pay for my own vehicle until 1996 when I bought my Dodge Neon. I didn't realize until a few minutes ago how deep that experience stayed with me.

I currently drive a 1998 Mazda 626. The pink slip of ownership has my name on it. So does the insurance.

I personally like the car: it's far faster than my Neon, spacious, has a sunroof, CD-player (abeit tends to skip when going to other tracks), and has many other amenities. I even like the interior and exterior color. The Spouse knows how to pick quality.

But that last line is the rub that irritates my obsession. Despite all the above facts, I didn't choose the car. I wasn't even there when R. purchased it. That has been gnawing me, worsened because I could purchase a new vehicle. (Even with R.'s blessing. Grrr.)


Sigh. So where do I go from here?