***MOVE your idiocy out of the way***

I have not been in the best of moods for the past few days. Whatever the cause--weather, (lack of) exercise, junk food, the idiocy of people—has left me tighter than a newbie’s first time. And Wednesday I just exploded.

I know the trigger. Frustrated with our contractors (lack of) response to our (repeated) requests to GET THE FRIGGIN’ JOB DONE IN A TIMELY MANNER SO WE CAN LIVE IN OUR HOUSE AGAIN, I just imploded. Unfortunately, that meant my poor spouse bore the brunt of it.

I have to be very careful when I’m in such a negative mood. Not because I’ll do anything rash, physical. I’d rather amputate my limbs before striking out against R. (now other people, on the other hand….) No, words are my weapons of choice: I know many of the vulnerable areas of my family (too numerous and wouldn’t make sense unless you’ve live through them), friends (“you’re such a lazy arse that it’s no wonder your lover left you. Oh, and you’re terrible in bed as well, Mr. Limp Biscuit.”), and, especially R.

Unfortunately, I didn’t hold back.

I won’t go into details, obviously. But it left R. fearful and distraught for much of the day. By Wednesday night I had sufficiently calmed down to say the magic words (rhymes with ‘glove’) and sound like I meant it.

Time and, more importantly, maturity, has helped us weather such episodes in the past. I know they’ll do so for the future as well. We’ll look back in 10, 20, and 30 years and laugh at such childish outburst.

But that’s in the future. So if I don’t laugh at one of your idiocies again, move out of the way.