***Breakdown***

I don't remember what time I felt it. I know, though, I was in the coffeeshop.

I had all these great plans for this week. Writing, working out (weights), housework, etc. And I knew I squandered it. Big time. And I felt all the emotions--anger, guilt, shame, etc.--as I read the latest specs on the Mazda6 5-door (i.e., hatchback), my latest car obsession.

I realized it was the loss of the Boeing-affiliate job opp. Rationally, it made sense. The company wanted someone more technical-oriented. But feelings are not rational and my self-esteem plunged.

Actually, that's too easy an excuse. I dug deeper and realized it was shock alright, but shock over one of the best jobs I've worked so far.

That I can deal with. I had felt the same way when I was let go from Sprint PCS.

It's not over. But knowing what was the cause is the first step. I drew upon that knowledge when I drew up my new ToDo lists.

Gotta run. Bills to pay.