***Joel A-Z (G)***

G is for God(s).

I distinctly remember when I lost faith in the Judeo-Christian God. I was on break at work and researching religions when I came across an article hard, physical evidence---or lack of--Jesus Christ. As I read the article, I felt something inside me...break. The last of my innocence, of my trust in other people's words (both oral and written) had finally been swept away.

It's not though this was unexpected. I had doubted mainstream religions for some time. As I would point out to friends and family, I write fiction; did they honestly believe I would so easily be caught up in other folks' fantastic writings? But that was the adult speaking. I had not realized how much my Roman Catholic background, mild as it was, had been a part of my psychological makeup until I read that article.

My 'spiritual quest' to 'fill' the gap lasted approximately three months, much to my spouse's amusement. I would classify myself as a Zen agnostic; i.e., life's suffering's caused by believing one's desires as reality (e.g., humans are innately selfless, bad people are always punished, etc.) and the question of some 'higher' and--most importantly--active and benevolent--power is either beyond human understanding or irrelevant to the Here and Now.

Is this my final opinion about God? Ask me when it's relevent.