Dictionary





> >Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at
one end & a
>fool on the other.
> >
> >Divorce - Future tense of marriage.
> >
> >Lecture - An art of transferring information from the notes
of the the
>students without passing through "the minds of either"
> >
> >Conference - The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
> >
> >Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody
>believes he got the biggest piece.
> >
> >Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by
>feminine water power...
> >
> >Dictionary - A place where success comes before work.
> >
> >Conference Room - A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens and
>everybody disagrees later on.
> >
> >Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.
> >
> >Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
> >
> >Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life.
> >
> >Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.
> >
> >Etc. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually
>do.
> >
> >Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide
>that nothing can be done together.
> >
> >Experience - The name men give to their mistakes.
> >
> >Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.
> >
> >Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when
>dead.
> >
> >Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you
>actually look forward to the trip.
> >
> >Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into
>a river.
> >
> >Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says
in midway "See
>I am not injured yet."
> >
> >Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
> >
> >Father - A banker provided by nature.
> >
> >Criminal - A guy no different from the rest....except that he
got caught.
> >
> >Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and late when
you are early.
> >
> >Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence
>after.
> >
> >Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you
with his
>bills.
> >