"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of
Evil" --
N.Y.
Times, 1/30/02

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF "JUST AS
EVIL"
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations
Start Own
Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) Bitter after being snubbed for
membership in
the
"Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they
had formed
the
"Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler
than that
stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State
of the
Union
address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new
axis as
having,
for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as
Evil... in
their
dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody
knows
we're
the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
excluded,
although
they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
President
Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
War II
you
had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only
have
three.
And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was
swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate
status in
what
became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia
said they
had
formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with
Uganda
and
Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria,
Indonesia and
Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just
Generally
Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling
up,
Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the
Axis of
Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to
Host
the
Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of
Nations That
Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America,
while
Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of
Countries That
Be
Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do,"
said
Scottish
Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't
perhaps
making
fun
of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
although he
rejected
the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay,"
accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials
from
Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis,
but
privately,
world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Copyright C 2002, SatireWire.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml