Words, Weights, Whatever

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Blond jokes



A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."


A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" ----!


A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"


A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."


There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.... Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Personality Disorder Test

Damn! Failed this test, too.


-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Giving up on publishing

If you haven't noticed, I have not posted anything substantial on my writing progress.

That's because there hasn't been any.

I could give the standard list to why I haven't continued Pyrrhic Price. But that sounds like whining--I don't like to whine--and this is a non-whining zone (and I don't drink, either). But I have been giving some thought as to why I had poured so much time and resources into this...art.

I recently read about an author's view on writing. Unfortunately, I don't remember who and where. But I do remember what the author said. To paraphrase: writing's easy until you get hung up on getting published.

I remember my first writing efforts, both in school. In each instance, I had to write a short story. I wrote: I didn't worry about writer's block, too many ideas, query letters, number of drafts, wordcount, etc. I just wrote. Each time the instructors asked me to consider submitting my works for publication. I never did; writing as a profession never seriously crossed my mind.

I have the talent; I've (mostly) never doubted that. I'm developing the skill. Writing--as a technical writer and a novelist--on a near-daily basis definitely keep the skills sharp. Being married to an English major helps, too. And I've got ideas galore. So what's holding me back?

Drive. That's what I'm lacking. My basic needs have been covered. I'm happily married; family's (overall) in good health; I'm in good health; we have a decent amount of money to spend with; house over my head; friends; and I live in a wonderful country. Overall, I'm content with my world.

to be continued....

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