Humor: Excuses, excuses

From a teacher associate who states these are actual notes:

* MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.
* PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.
* DEARSCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.
* PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.
* PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.
* JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.
* CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART
* MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.
* CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.
* PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.
* PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, >DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SHITS. [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].
* PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.
* IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.
* PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.
* I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.
* PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.
* SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.
* MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.
* PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.
* PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.
* GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.
* PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.
* MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

(Image found on the Internet and all rights belong to its owner.)

Ah, the sleeper awakes...*

(Image found on the Internet and all rights belong to its owners.)

Words
The generated enthusiasm gathered from the Stackpole signing died Monday when I groggily arrived at work at 0600, an hour early. Energy that would later develop would be channeled into returning to working out (see Weights below) and other endevours. It would not be until after attending the Alex Sanchez signing that my writing interest was renewed.

Weights
Returned to the gym on Monday and Tuesday. Interesting experience and feelings. I felt a sort of...detachment...from my workout collagues that I haven't felt in a while. And I wasn't gone for long: two weeks. I think the reason is that I'm become too complacent with my workout routine, becoming too stagnant. Don't get me wrong, though. I enjoy each and every class.

But I know the regulars and the instructors too well now and--to be modest--am a bit of a celebrity with them. This is especially true at the Tuesday class where the instructor and a couple of students conspire (for fun, of course) to indulge in my least favorite exercise: leg lifts. Ugh.

I'll make some changes over the course of the summer. Again, I have access to the gym at work and there are new branches that I want to explore with their new classes. And I'm strongly encouraged with the fact that I lost weight while out sick for two weeks. While my body (especially the upper part) hasn't defined itself, at least my "spare tire" hasn't grown.

Whatever
The week's been actually busy.

Monday I dropped off my car at a dealership for some maintenance and rented a Lincoln LS, one of the cars I was interested in last year. I hit the gym for the first time in two weeks (see Weights above), feeling that I was at the tail end of my cold. Tuesday I would return the car, noting that, while I liked it, there were enough faults to cross it off my wish list.

Tuesday I didn't meet my friends CS and GAC, with the former sick and having family visit. Poor baby. I hit the gym that evening for an excellent workout.

Yesterday I attend the Alex Sanchez booksigning. An enjoyable (though long) evening that merits its own post.

While engaged in all the above activities (and assume there's more like trips to the postoffice, lunch out, etc.), I realized I was not feeling down anymore. Long story short, I've felt I've been a mild depression for the past couple of years. I'm still not sure of the reasons but, after extensive discussion with The Spouse, point to the job changes (both of us), my lack of exercise, and the remodeling as major culprits. Another one is feeling that I'm not accomplishing anything with my life and my goals. But a few crisises and, most importantly, time, has helped me weather the doldrums.

Today's currently the most relaxing day with no current plans which I definitely want to enjoy. R.'s off tomorrow and next Monday as the upcoming Festival of Books rapidly approaches.


*...and wishes he could pull the covers over his head and go back to sleep.

***Weekend Words***

Words
My enthusiasm was bolstered on Sunday while attending Michael Stackpole's signing of his latest work, The Secret Atlas.

Weights
I had hope to hit the gym on Saturday but my cold--though greatly reduced--still persist. I'll see how it goes this week.

Whatever
The Spouse had a certification class that would take all day. I crawled out of bed around 1000 and prepared to bring my car for a checkup before heading down to San Diego. Unfortunately, the car rentals would not rent since I didn't bring any picture ID. This is despite the fact the manager personally knew me from other branches. I had to pick up my car from the garage and trekked down, steaming.

I enjoyed the Stackpole signing. The author radiated enthusiasm which spilled on to me and other aspiring writers in the dozen attendees. I would later check out his homepage and found it to be quite extensive.

Afterwards I drove to Hillcrest where I read and napped at Davids.My plans were to grab an early dinner and read until late in the evening. R. called around 1600 to head home instead of the original plan to put in a few hours to do paperwork. Grudgingly, I headed back. Fortunately traffic was light on the 5 and I made it by 1800.

We dined at one of our favorite restaurants before retiring for the evening.

Sunday, while R. dealt with remodeling issues (i.e., floor and cabinet staining), I watered our lawns. Our sprinkler system is still down after the electric company shut off our neighborhood power for a day back a few weeks ago. After I was done, we headed out to the Renaissance Faire. This year it was held in Irwindale instead of Devore. Apparently the Devore park had raised the rent. According to one regular vendor, the move actually worked out better for the Faire and Irwindale; there were plans to shut down the beautiful park.

I noted a few changes. First, the weather was far nicer than out in Devore. Cooling breezes keep the temperature better than tolerable. This was good; some of the costumes--especially the armor!--looked quite uncomfortable to wear all day. This year, there was a "haunted house" in the shape of a dragon at the entrance.

After a quick snack (I had bread, cheddar cheese, and sausage. Yum!), we walked around, oohing and ahhing the folks and the shops. R., of course, wanted to stop at every other shop. I noted more minorities participating at the Faire than our past visit. After admiring the costume of one particular musketeer (who had a nice butt, by the by), I've decided to disregard my hesitation that the Faire is for Anglo-Saxon descendants only and buy a costume for myself in a latter visit. (R. bought a noble's outfit--of course--last year.)

We collapsed at home. Or at least I did. R. put in a couple of hours on-call. We then headed out for a late dinner, finally going to sleep around 2300. Overall, a wonderful weekend.

(Image found on the Internet and all rights belong to its owner(s))

***Wake up call***

Hilarious! Thanks, Gary.