Relationship roulette

Several of my friends (which includes my ex) have had profound changes in their relationships that I only found out this week.

I had dinner with my friend J. on Thursday. I hadn't spoken with him since spring; I hadn't seen him for a few years.
We met over at The Block in Orange. I arrived first and impatiently waited at the restaurant. Finally I saw him and waved him over. We hugged, climbed into the booth, and talked as friends do who haven't seen each other in a while. We barely begun when the server came over and took our drink order. We gave them, scarcely looking at her. We resumed our conversation, expressing how good the other looked.

J. and I have known each other since my college days. He and his spouse K. were speakers at this youth group I had belong to at the time. I bore witness to J. and K.'s breakup (which included still living in the same, co-owned, house until it was sold.) J. was there when I first met up with my ex., JC. R. and I met J.'s several paramours: S. and B. The latter and J. were together until several months.

They had been together for nine years: R. and I are finishing up eleven.

I wanted so badly to find out what had happened between the two of them. I knew B. But, over the years, I've developed a "courtnesy instinct" about relationships: I don't automatically assume folks are still together if I hadn't spoken to them in a while. Such was the case earlier in the week when I called J. I asked, "How's B.? I, oh. Sorry. Are you still together."

Maybe folks would find what I had said rude, but I was right. J. immediately said they were no longer together. Another instinct kicked in and I asked no more details. We moved on to safer subjects, finally deciding to get together later in the week.



At the restaurant we discussed over a wide range of topics. Who was he seeing now. What did he find attractive/not attractive. How our spouses had uncanny characteristics of the other. How our families were doing. He wasn't aware, for example, that one of my sisters is a mother.

At one point, one of his "dates" called on his cellphone. Scant seconds earlier, I felt my own cellphone vibrate. I returned my call while he checked up on his date.

After dining on an appetizer and entrees, we walked around the outdoor mall, both enjoying such walks and each other companionship. We continued to go over the same topics but from different angles. I'd probe here and there about what happend to B. but never pushed. If he wanted to share such info, I reminded myself, he will.

It was nearly 10 PM when we decided to call it a night. A quick hug, a promise to meet again, and he was gone.

(continue)

Blog joke (thanks, archerr!)


Question: How many bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answers:

• One to change the light bulb and to post the fact that the light bulb has been changed
• 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
• 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
• 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
• 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
• 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
• Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
• Two industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
• 27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
• 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
• 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
• 44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
• 9 bloggers to trackback from their own blogs.
• 10 comments from people with lightbulb fetishes.
• 2 to post reasons why the light bulb burning out is the result of a government conspiracy.
• 4 to say "didn't we cover this a few months ago?"
• 43 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs"
• 5 to say "thank you"
• 1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

Too much

Well, this is a first. I don't know what to post. It's not that I don't have any ideas...far from it. I can't decide which is the most interesting. Aargh!

Highlights

Because of Comic Con 2004, I haven't posted what's been happenin' in our lives after the vacation. It's mundane, of course. Here are a few of the highlights:

• Had Friday off.
• Watched my paychecks eaten by spouse's buying spree. Sigh.
• R. had to work on the 31st and the 1st.
• Major brake job on my car.
• Rented one of those hybrid cars while my car was in the shop.
• Still haven't returned to the gym.
• Sister's in-laws are visiting them.
• Finished at least three books. (See Way.)
• Been participating in Tribe.net. I blame it on G.
• Got in touch with my ex and one of my long-time friends.
• Two of my friends had life-altering events (and it's not my place to discuss them.)
• My ex seems to be doing well.
• The weather down here in SoCal is finally cooling down.
• Developed the Comic Con pics.
• Food shopped. Ugh.
• Too many interesting progs on digital cable. Ugh.

Comic Con 2004
continued. Note that all images can be found on the WWW and are the respective property of their owners.

We left the bed & breakfast Sunday (July 25th) with a heavy heart and lots of purchases (and guess who carried most of them...)

The con was not as crowded as Saturday. And it was noticeably cooler. Finally, someone turned on the air-conditioner, I thought as we walked in the convention hallway. R. and I exchanged some brief words before splitting in our different directions.

I continued searching the independent tables, making a couple of new purchases. And continued to take pictures. I enjoyed the fact that someone was always in costume throughout the con with most willling to have their pics taken. The only exceptions were those who worked booths where one had to pay to a pic taken with that booth's character (i.e., She-Rah, etc.) That made sense and I never took any rejection personally.

The convention closed at 5 PM. You could see how eager the vendors were to leave. We saw many booth closed or in the processing of closing as early at 4 PM. R. and I met several times finally meeting at 4:45 PM. We joined the exiting crowd and huffed and puffed back to the car.

The rest of the day and evening was spent in Hillcrest. We dined early at La Vache before retiring to Dave's Coffee to read. I think I napped while R. just read.

Traffic hindered the trip back home. No biggie. As we readied for bed, we mused about our next vacation later this year and Comic Con 2005.

Next year we're taking a week off.

Comic Con 2004

continued.
Note that all images are found on the WWW and are the property of their owners.

We didn't attend Comic Con the whole day on Saturday. Instead, we visited bookstores: Prince and Pauper, Mysterious Galaxy, and others. Unfortunately we found few books despite intense searching. Then, on a whim, we decided to spend a few hours at Comic Con.

Oops.

We used to attend Comic Con only on the weekends and suddenly remembered why we had purchased the four day (pluse preview night) tickets. The convention center was hot, humid, and crowded. R. went to look for more cells (of course) while I browsed the independent comic publishers. While I took a fair amount of pics (to be posted later), I and many of the subject matters were very tired.

We had dinner in downtown. Afterwards, we stayed in the bed and breakfast to...read...for the rest of the evening.

To be continued...