Words, Weights, Whatever

Friday, April 09, 2004

Humor: Jesus is watching you.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,

"Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed."Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" The burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."


Some people gush words when depressed. I'm not one of them. I'm the opposite: if depression was a new
operating system from a certain 800 pound elephant, my muse is too little random-access memory (RAM). That's
one of the reasons the amount of my blog posts have dropped.

But I've switched operating systems (more specifically, I've 'dropped' the major source of my depression) and
while it's been replaced by fear, uncertainity, and doubt (FUD) over finding the new job, I know I can handle
the latter. My writing output will definitely increase over the next few days as I return to my projects.

Nothing since Monday. And diet's currently at blue screen of death (BSOD) which, ironically, is a good thing. Will work on both shortly.

Currently my days consists of the following (in no particular order):

Napping. Eating a lot. Surfing the World Wide Web (WWW) for jobs or following the war in Iraq. Reading a variety of media. Chatting with friends and family on the phone. (Still no interest in instant messaging of any flavor.) Occasional chatting in chatrooms. Working on my resumes. Warming up my writing skills in my journals (which includes blogs.) Paying bills. Housework (very little time.) Channel-surfing (which is very boring. Usually switch to a DVD.)

Here are a few more details:

Job-hunting consists primarily surfing various job sites or companies on-line. Will start looking at the ads in the papers shortly. I've submitted at least ten resumes since late last week. One lead came from an instructor; I have yet to hear back from the company. Only responses so far have been a couple of temp agencies.

While I normally place eating under Weights, my response has be marked with much having to due to my recent job issues. I am consuming carbs--specifically, pasta--at a prodigious rate, easily stopping my downward trend. The result? A marked improvement in my mood. This will be essential as I assume the stresses of FUD (see Words above) while looking for a new job, money issues, and writing.

Humor: Old Farts

There's a mixed message here...

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his
chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart,
time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these
chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two
old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around
the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire
chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance old man.
So, just to be fair I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young
rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the
farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5
inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He
blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third gay rooster I
bought this month."

Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age and treachery
will always overcome youth and skill!

Tuesday, April 06, 2004


Ugh. Too exhausted to even read. Skimmed one of my role-playing supps, though, and got some great ideas on how to end the world. I almost pity my main characters in my work in progress. Almost.

Cardio yesterday. Instructor did something fun: she had us do step vertically. Even I had to get used to it (and it didn't help my stomach was protesting the pastry I had for dinner.)

I'm still debating if I want to become an instructor.

Spouse's car got a flat tire. I forgot my depression and become the good spouse. Brought the car in Tuesday morn and got it fixed. We're happy again.

Monday, April 05, 2004

Yesterday and tomorrow

Yesterday I finally decided to put the outline on hold and assemble all the necessary scenes from my old manuscripts into the current one. To do so, I had to read each scene to make sure it was pertinent. I felt amazement; some of these scenes were over a year old and I hadn't seen them during all that time. Yet the writing, the life, the fire, still resonated within them. I felt awed and humbled.

I rarely think of my talent and know of no writer who regularly mentions their own. Much of writing is, well, writing which means work (and lots of it). But there's a part, too, where having the talent comes to play.

I remember years ago attending a writing course. There was a new kid in the class who had been encouraged by his new spouse and friends to give writing a shot. And it quickly became obvious why: his writing, unedited and raw, stood heads above more polished veterans who have been attending the class for years. Life resonated from those pages.

And that's how I felt yesterday. And I know I'll feel it, again, tomorrow.

Sunday, April 04, 2004


No writing. LOTS of reading. It's quality time with spouse. I am married to the most wonderful person in the world and intend to stay that way.

Eating like a pig. And loving it. Anyone got some clean mud to roll in?

Got up leisurely today; surfed the Internet; mailed out books and our last tax thingie; shopped for cars; watched more Naruto; and ate. Ah. Life.

Who links to me?